My life, designed by me.
The Internet delivers me many motivational quotes and phrases daily. My Twitter feed is particularly encouraging and most of my Facebook friends are guilty of sharing a delightfully whimsical little nugget of inspiration daily, usually accompanied by a cute animal, rainbow or sunset. From all these snippets of wisdom, I have one that I am particularly fond of;
“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss you will land amongst the stars.”
– Brian Thomas Littrell & Les Brown.
I like it .
It is just vague and corny enough to apply to anything. When I made my BIG DECISION this week this phrase just happened to come to mind. I am shooting for the moon in a way that I never imagined that I would be brave enough to ever attempt. I have taken a giant step toward aiming for my dreams and I am free-falling into the comforting arms of my current unwavering sense of self-belief, albeit with small niggles of fear that threaten to have me hyper-ventilating. Hence the need for the paper bag.
You see, I handed in my resignation today. I am resigning from my full time job to chase my dreams. I have wanted to do this for quite a while. It is not that I dislike my job. My boss is reasonable, I am comfortable and confident in my role. I am quite attached to the routine and consistency my job gives me. However, I have been spending alot of time trying to redefine the parameters and create new roles and opportunities within my job, to try and find some aspect that would resonate with me, just enough to make the day in and day out monotony bearable.
I am mentally bored and physically trapped. I am required to be in front of a computer all day and I have spent that last three years watching the people outside the windows going about their lives, wishing I could have more than a few minutes a day in the sunshine. Moving on has been a long overdue event.
I came so close to tearing up my resignation letter. I am only now feeling the real implications of simply leaving a secure job to chase a dream at my age. Cue the paper bag again, please. However, to give in to these fears, to let them off their leash to run unfettered around my head would be futile and only serve to undermine my bulletproof sense of self-worth that I have going right now. For the first time in my life I really believe in myself. That is worth more than money can buy.