My life, designed by me.
Yes, you read that correctly. WORDY, as opposed to worldly. Worldly, I am not. Not yet anyway! Interwoven amongst the beautiful, majestic fabric of big dreams and ambitions are threads that lead to magical, faraway places that I want to visit someday (Disneyland).
As you may have noticed by now, I am quite wordy. I always have been. Ever since I was little there was always so much to say and never enough patience or time from those around me to hear it all. I was chastised in class for talking too much. I was described as talkative, chatterbox and, more unkindly, motor mouth. Glowing school reports always mentioned that I was talkative, chatty and frequently distracted by my need to talk to everyone around me. Luckily I performed well in school, so this alleged character flaw was usually overlooked.
As an adult I still feel that bursting, insatiable and immediate urge to say something. I want to contribute, I want to converse with the world and the people in it. I have a voice and an opinion and I want to make myself heard. Why shouldn’t I? Isn’t that how the world and society was and is still crafted, by those who start a dialogue?
I have estimated that since October I have written approximately fifty thousand words. Words that I have carefully and with deliberate consideration, formed into pieces of writing to start my dialogue with the world. I have published approximately twenty thousand words of Blog posts and another ten thousand in articles published on Technorati. I have created fictional worlds from approximately twenty thousand words. The word count continues to rise as the fictional worlds evolve, the words giving them colour and substance, moulding the rudimentary outlines of characters into a tangible, almost real, existence. When my characters are safely ensconced within a chapter that does not present them any challenge or tragedy, I bring my wordiness here, to my Blog. I find it extremely easy to tap into my brain and craft a post that reflects my thoughts and feelings. I have discovered that my Blog is a wonderful place to just be ME. It is incredibly self-indulgent I know, but I don’t care. I have spent so many years of my life not really knowing who I am and where I am going or what I want. This Blog is like a reservoir, to be filled with the torrential flood of words that I now know are within me, to craft into something meaningful. It is accurate to call it a flood. I have ideas for future Blog posts scattered around me on Post Its and scraps of paper, because avenues of expression are constantly opening in my mind. Words form themselves into phrases and dialogue in my mind and sometimes I cannot write nor type fast enough to get them out and assembled into a neat line of meaning. I have notepads of stories that need to be transcribed onto computer, written when the urge to write dictated that I must simply grab a pen and paper and write, write with urgency to ensure my words are captured, so maybe, just maybe, when I am least expecting it, the world will want to hear me and what I have to say.
Worldly can wait. It will come.
If When the BIG DREAM comes to fruition it will be because of a wonderful, lovingly crafted tapestry of the most divine words that I can find, sewn together with a passionate love of writing and the threads of my dreams.